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Beginner's Guide To Anal Play

Question:

I have not explored anal fingering. How should I begin? Are there any disadvantages of anal fingering or engaging in anal play?


Answer:

Backdoor play is an exciting addition to anyone's sex life and let me tell you how diverse this world of butt play can be. Anus isn’t easy to please so you need to put some patience and devotion to acquire this skill. You cannot directly go poking things in it and expect to have an instant intense orgasm. Nope!


Since you are only beginning, I'd suggest you to start with oral (rimming) and external finger play (watch the video below for few techniques) that can help you understand what pressure, rhythm, sensations and areas seem the most desirable to you/your partner(s). Take deep breaths (if you are the receiver) and start slow by stimulating the anus externally using toys, fingers, tongue, lips, breathwork, etc. and move your way up. It is essential to allow relaxation of both sphincter muscles to prepare the butt for any kind of penetration. To not make this experience seem overwhelming, you can also start solo using a toy or fingers and then introduce this in your partnered adventures to have a better understanding of what you like and don’t like.


Next thing to remember is to explore positions that are most comfortable for all the parties involved. You do not want to be cramping up amidst a pleasure session. Missionary, doggy, reverse cowgirl, sideway spoon, etc. are some other positions that allow different directional access to intensify the sensations and intimacy you are looking for.


Next is to start small and go slow. Familiarize yourself with this new erogenous zone and the wonders of it. You could start with massaging, kissing, licking, sucking, or including a toy. Make sure you/your partner(s) are comfortable (choose a position that is comfortable) and actively communicating. Keep a safe word to pause or stop if you/your partner(s) feel uncomfortable or need to switch the position or act. To make anal sex safer remember two things;

  1. always, always use an object/toy with a flared base if you plan on inserting it in the anus and

  2. second, just because one takes a backdoor route does not eliminate the chances of pregnancy, infections and STDs. Hence, always use barrier methods (dental dams, internal condoms, finger condoms, sterile gloves) and non-barrier methods of your choice and get tested regularly.

Last, and the important thing to remember, keep a lubricant handy. Unlike the vagina and penis, anus is not self lubricating and saliva is the worst lubricant as it will dry out quickly and you will eventually run out of saliva. The human saliva contains bacteria and spitting can increase the risks of infection in partnered adventures. A lubricant will make fingering and other penetration activities smoother with lesser risks of pain and tearing. Choose any water based or silicone based lubricant that suits the anal pH and the toys/barriers you shall be using.


The only disadvantages with anal play can be the risk of STIs or other infections and the fear of pooping. To avoid this:

  • Wash the anal area externally before and after any penetrative encounters.

  • If you are experiencing some disturbance in bowel movements, stick to external play.

  • Use barriers like dental dams, gloves or finger gloves to avoid transmission of STIs or other infections.

In the end, remember that this is for your pleasure. Don't stress and don't make it into a competition. Start slowly, practice regularly and enjoy the sensations that come along!


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